I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize