my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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