Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
