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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game

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• (559): View more from California

  i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...

  (559): View more from California

  ...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  You don't even like football

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• (607): View more from New York

  I use my feet as sexual weapons

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  "Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.

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