She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
