dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize