what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
