I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize