O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize