Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize