Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
