went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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