I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
im holly from the hills drunk
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
