How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
