I hope mine doesn't look like that
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
