yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
