Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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