I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My breasts were aching with rage.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
