Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
