lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
