I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
