I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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