Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
