A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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