remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
