what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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