There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My dick has a subreddit
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
