I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
