You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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