seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
