I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
