I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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