spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
