If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
