OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
