forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
