I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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