i permit you to call me
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
