U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
