Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
