We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
