So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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