does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
