and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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