Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
