ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
