she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
