Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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