i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize