I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
