Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
