My liver just broke up with me...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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