Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize