Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
