so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
