its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
