It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
