I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
