Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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