I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
My cat gives me a boner
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
