if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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