Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
