we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
