I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
