apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
