Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
