She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
