I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize